Growing up, I never really felt like I fit into a specific group very well… always feeling a little different, never feeling really good enough… I was the girl who skipped the cafeteria and opted for helping a teacher (Mrs Jackson ) during lunch break instead many times…not because I was a teachers pet, hell I got straight F’s a lot of times, but because the fear of sitting alone at a lunch table was far too great for me to chance… anyone else feel me here?
On the outside I’m sure it looked much different… confident, strong, daring… but inside, I was always trying to win a war with self doubt, shame, rejection… Many people think that things will change when we reach a certain age, when we gain a certain level of success, when we go through enough things… but the truth is, we don’t beat it until we face it, over and over again… feel through the fear…
So, this is me… at a 3 day conference last weekend of over 6000 strangers, by myself… no buddy, no safe person… just me, for the first time ever… it took so much to fight the urge of wanting to buy a ticket for someone else to come with me. A person who has spoken on stages, who gets up in front of a class full of people to teach… a person who always seems so sure of herself…still facing that fear, still continuing to rise up, still proving it to myself…Because at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks about you… it only matters what you think.
Do you have a fear you’re fighting? Give yourself the chance to face it and lean in!