Dreams Take Time… and Ups and Downs

I had my first son the summer before going into my senior year of high school… I wasn’t hitting on much. I had ‘put the last nail in the coffin’ so to speak…

I had little hope back then but I had just enough to dream… I dreamed of getting us our own little place… of building a life for ourselves… of ‘making it’ … I dreamed of going to college, and then law school…I envisioned my home and how I would decorate it… I dreamed of the smell from my kitchen as I baked a treat that he’d coming running in for after playing outside with his friends… I dreamed that I wouldn’t let him down…

When I saved enough money, I bought this bright yellow sofa… I had no home for it yet, I was still living with my parents… I had no money to go anywhere, I didn’t have enough income to afford my own place… but I knew it was coming, I could feel it…

My senior year of high school I received the ‘most improved student’ award… after graduating I went on to begin classes at the community college, I was on my way… and then, at 19, I got pregnant again… surely to have no chance at this point… to have thoroughly screwed up my life this time and that of my boys… the noise was harder to ignore, it had gotten much louder…my dreams seemed further away… if not altogether impossible…

They all told me what I had destined for myself…. I was shameful, I felt worthless… stupid for ever even believing I could… silly for ever thinking that would be in the cards for someone like me… but when they told me what I had destined for them, I refused to believe it… I refused to fail them… and so, I started dreaming again…

Dreams take time… they take ups and downs and all arounds… they take detours and pit stops… they take failing over and over again… dreams take courage… they take faith… they take an ability to believe in something not yet evident…

That girl with that dream… never did she ever imagine that it would take her here… never could she have even comprehended this life…

These boys… that yellow sofa… never underestimate the places God can take you… look up, stop looking around… the answers are never there. You were meant for more.. keep climbing, he’s got you!